|Dan's not quite dirtbaggy enough...what would you |
change about his outfit to make it into a costume?
Dirtbag Climber: The Urban Dictionary defines a dirtbag climber as "a glorified bum, who spends all of his/her time begging for food, drinking PBR, and climbing." This might be the easiest costume you'll ever wear. Grab your chalk bag, put on a pair of old and preferably dirty cutoff shorts, don a well-worn shirt, and don't shower for a few days before Halloween. Hang a sign around your neck that says "will belay for food." Carry around a can of PBR or two all night. Use words like "epic" and "bomber," smile when you talk about how you can't remember the last time you left Camp 4, and tell people you survived an entire year on a sack of rice.
Survivorman or Bear Grylls: Though it might be a little played out, if you're outdoorsy and on a budget, you'll already have everything you need to make this one happen. You don't have to call yourself Les Stroud or Bear Grylls either; you can just be a general survivor-person. Dress head to toe in technical outdoor clothing, preferably zip-off pants and some sort of wool shirt. If you're going as Les Stroud, you'll need a harmonica, a camera, a tripod and a super cool Indiana Jones-style had. If you're going as Bear Grylls, get your clothing dirty, fill a water bottle with yellow colored liquid and brainstorm ridiculous stories about how you made an airplane out of twigs and a safety pin, or something similar. If you prefer to go as Les Stroud, you need a Canadian accent at minimum.
|Paddles like these are perfect for costume #2!|
Overeager Scout: Inspired by Demeritwear's Steve Kosinski and his story about being an unprepared Boy Scout, this year's your chance to make fun of the kid always trying to one-up everyone else in the troop. Thrift stores and sites like eBay are a great place to find discarded uniforms, but if you can't find anything, there's always the official Girl Scout and Boy Scout online shops. The most important part of the costume, of course, is the sash decorated with as many badges as possible. Walk around telling everyone how you've earned all 130 merit badges currently offered by the Boy Scouts of America.
Cycling Crash Victim: Though the intent certainly isn't to make fun of folks who've been seriously injured in crashes, Halloween gives us an opportunity to play with fake blood. I'll take it. Attach a broken stick to your helmet, and make sure the helmet is on sideways. Use body paint to create a nasty fake road rash on one side of your body. If you've got an old cycling kit you don't mind rendering useless, rip a few holes in your jersey and smear some dirt on it. Wear one cycling glove and one cycling shoe. Spend the night talking about how the peleton swerved the wrong way and you bit it hard going down a 45º hill at 50mph, and you totally would've won the Tour de France if not for everyone else's mistakes.
Have any of your past costumes been related to the outdoors? Do you have any other ideas? I'd love to hear 'em!